You Will Never Walk Alone

It is a humid Tuesday morning as I roll from the divan and into the arms of the football world. I have Christ the Redeemer looking over me, but even he has taken a backseat to the likes of Lionel Messi Richie and the greatest show on earth, the World Cup.

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I am travelling to Fortaleza to watch Brazil and Mexico hug it out in the second round. I am as excited as those kids in the 1980’s film, The Goonies. But I sort of feel sad and melancholic wandering through the slums, to where the locals sell cans of soft drink to make ends meet. I am sure the world cup will have a positive impact on the Brazilian economy, one can only hope.

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As I pass through the security checkpoint I realize FIFA have placed restrictions on all musical instruments, so no drums, toy rattles, citars, Korg’s, tambourines, sleigh bells, mouth organs, or grand frigan pianos. So I hide the triangle under my beret and mosey on into the Estádio Castelão with a rye German smile. Sorry if you had heard an annoying little DING during the Brazil verse Mexico match that was me.

Inside the stadium it is an oceanic balance of yellow, red, green and white. The Mexicans are dressed up in full Mayan outfits and they have brought their match smarts and match chants, which are instant and direct, almost catty and scathing like Blair the Waldorf salad from Gossip Girl or something. There was one memorable chant and it goes to show any umbrella salesman could get a job in advertising. I have written the chant below for you.

“Manana va a llorar, el puto de Neymar.”

“Tomorrow we will make him cry, the *** Neymar.”

This was because Neymar cried after losing the gold medal to Mexico at the 2012 Olympics. If you do not know who Neymar is then you should go back to watching AFL, which is a local Melbourne sport, for all of my worldly friends. My worldly friends know football is by far the superior sport.

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So, after the game I get a glimpse of the great man in the VIP corporate box. I jump over rows of seats and stalls and confetti and the sun is beaming down on his head like a halo and he looks like an angel but he is surrounded by adoring fans and corporate looking people, with their corporate looking smiles and their corporate looking hair pieces. I yell Pele and hit my triangle to catch his attention. But maybe I drank too much and that never happened.

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I am no octopus, but my prediction is: the final will be Germany verse Brazil. It will be 4-4 and Germany will win in penalty shootouts with Thomas Muller scoring the winning goal. But it is looking likely they shall meet in the semi-final, with the same outcome, of course.

Kira Brandau is based in Hamburg, Germany. She received her Master’s of Fashion at RMIT in Melbourne and is currently following her dream of becoming a world famous football correspondent.

M.D. Cooke contributed and this article is dedicated to the great Johnny Warren who put Australian football on the world stage.


Front page image by Ana Guzzo using Flickr’s Creative Commons License.







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