The elusive first step to fame begins with a lonely gentle breeze down Hollywood Boulevard. I am on my third audition today and my head is slightly giddy like a teenage girl on passion-pops. I cannot remember the last time I ate, maybe yesterday, yesterday feels like a nosebleed but that audition, I smashed it, I was amazing.

Yes, it is upon us again like a summer romance, ‘Pilot Season.’

The two words that sends fear and excitement into the bones of actors all around the globe. The Los Angeles freeways become a sea of hope as the actors are magnetized into the bosom of the beast.

Do you remember that film Pulp Fiction, yes that’s right the one where Uma Thurman stars in a Pilot called Fox Force 5?

Here, watch Samuel L. Jackson (not Laurence Fishburne) watch Samuel tell you how Pilot Season works, well not exactly but you catch my drift I am sure.

Anyway, I am ready for your curve ball Pilot Season. I am ready like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls. I have all the audition times penciled into my brain like the overdue bill on the fridge. The bills, oh the bills, they are pilling up. My Australian friends who are passing through live by the phrase, “candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.” But the bills, I must be vigilant. Pilot Season is my candy and the last few nights have been something straight out of a Bukowski biography. I have begun my regime, though. No, no I am not living off air and water for the remainder of my life. I have started what I refer to as ‘The Pilot Season Diet.’

Camilla is portaled into John Malkovich’s brain.


The Pilot Season Diet has nothing to do with Tom “Maverick” Cruise in Top Gun, although I did like the Iceman, whatever happened to Val Kilmer?

The Pilot Season Diet has led me to the strange world of Glowing Green Smoothies. I know it sounds like something straight out of a weird sci-fi film and even though the texture is a cross between porridge and a hacky-sack, these little green Gremlin like nutrients have kept me going from audition to audition. But then you get roped back into the Long Island Ice Teas and the late night hamburgers and the thought of another audition and then you have to ask Kimberley Snyder, the Green Smoothie whiz, you have to ask her to take you back to Greenland, to the land of the smooth.

This is where the full circle sets in, the alcohol, the hamburgers, the green smoothies all fighting for a place in my heart, for my affection. I tell myself that ‘The Pilot Season Diet’ is avante-garde and magical and it will reward me with that starring role on the silver screen. I tell myself, as I munch on a “In-N-Out Burger” on the couch.

Please see my easy to follow diagram below, X – Y – Z.

Screen shot 2014-03-12 at 10.24.07 PM

Tinseltown – by Camilla Jackson.

An Australian actress in LA.

Screen shot 2014-03-13 at 12.33.22 AM


4 thoughts on “Hollywood

  1. First, thanks a ton for stopping by, reading, and following my blog. You’re too kind.

    Second, great looking site you got here.

    Third, and most important, this is a great piece. Entertaining and amusing. If I ever get to LA, I’ll try to find Greenland and get me some smooth.

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